Worry & Relief

The SLP (company owner) from Grant's B23 company called today and said he wants to "talk about the evaluation-is tomorrow okay?". I'm wondering if I should've asked for a lawyer. I spoke with my closest neighbor today, and it felt good to begin to tell the story of Grant's diagnosis the way I want to. Bad news isn't fun to tell over and over, but it takes a certain shape as you make realizations while you're talking... At least I do. I'm realizing how much we've encouraged Grant to use his language to express himself, and because of our encouragement, how long it took us (me) to notice he was missing some of the non-verbal communication pieces. The sides of my fingers keep getting bitten smaller though, as I can't help worrying about the future. Will he whine and moan and look into the distance as he speaks when he's 3 or 4, the way he does now? I'm finding that making personal connections with other educators and parent advocates is helpful. I've emailed a professor of mine that is a prominent researcher in the field, and she wrote back right away, advising me NOT to consider making dietary or vaccination restrictions. I don't want to grasp at straws, but my focus is almost like a laser, trying to search for something, anything. It can be a desperate and lonely feeling. But at faithful times I realize that Grant will reach his Divine potential and these trials can only serve to bring us closer to each other, and to God. Humility isn't as bad a feeling as I once thought.